It's been a long time!

I cannot believe how quickly the time has gone since my last blog entry! I obviously have not been very good at updating and completing my blogs about the trip. What is most important is that the trip, a year and a half later, is like the gift that keeps on giving. Since the trip I have moved, traveled, found a wonderful new job, and met the love of my life whom I am now engaged to! So much change in realistically what some consider a short period of time. But as I have learned life continues on and what you do with that time is all up to you. Several of us who participated in the climb wrote and published a book called "More Than A Mountain: Our Leap of Faith" that is now available on Amazon. Each chapter is written by a climber, telling their story, be it from the climb or before. It is an inspiring book filled with hope, emotion, and some comedy ;) March is MS Awareness Month and I was recently asked by a friend for some pictures from the climb and some words about life with MS. She is a physical therapist who owns her own business and wanted to feature me in her monthly newsletter to patients, friends, and colleagues. I am very touched by this and I hope that my story will inspire someone else however it may. This is what I wrote to her: "Shortly after being diagnosed I used to have a saying "Don't tell me what I can't do. Instead tell me what I can do and I will exceed your expectations". I recently realized that the only voice that ever told me what I couldn't or shouldn't do was my own. Not my doctors, not my friends or family. I think when I was given the diagnosis of MS, the fear was overwhelming and I imposed restrictions that I did not even realize I had done. The Kilimanjaro trip helped give me a new found sense of what my life could be like in spite of such a diagnosis and helped me learn to push through a label like MS. Somewhere on that mountain the fear of MS left me and helped me regain my life. Now, a year and a half later, I still find the fear of the "what if's" for now or the future still present themselves and so I draw from that experience to give me strength to get through. What would I say to others with MS... Those four words "You have Multiple Sclerosis" are not the words anyone ever wants to hear. The disease is not a choice, but your reaction to it and the life you live after is. Make every moment count and just maybe the life you live after being diagnosed is greater and more fulfilling than the life you lived before."

Kilimanjaro, Day 3: July 12, 2011

Today was the day to start our climb and how excited I was to start the adventure! We once again had an early wakeup call. The morning consisted of the final packing of our gear in the boundary bags followed by breakfast, packing the jeeps, and heading out. On our way out of Arusha we stopped to exchange money. The day before we had all given our "tips" for the Tanzanian guides and staff to Eric and Ben and now the money needed to be converted. I went in with Eric to exchange the money and walked out holding 1 million shillings (I think was the count). To walk out with that much cash in hand into the streets of Arusha was a bit of a risk. Eric told me to hold the cash close and head straight to the jeep. As I hopped into the vehicle before any of the street peddlers could ask me to buy something I laughed as I told the group in the jeep "I've never held 1 million.... shillings before!" This was how the morning started.

The drive out of Arusha was an adventure. Although the city appears very poor and extremely over populated, the architecture of some of the old and new buildings was incredible. The smell of exhaust and fumes from so many vehicles was overwhelming and I craved what I could only imagine was fresh mountain air. The roadways there are also quite dangerous.. Sometimes what felt like one lane for 2 cars. I think we had 4 jeeps for all of us and unfortunately one of them had a new driver who got lost. Once we were out of the city, the lost jeep was realized and so a stop was made. This was our first encounter with ... squatting to go to the bathroom. I realize some may not want to know about this, but as a woman the first time doing this in Africa was a bit hilarious. I grew up on a farm so this notion was not new to me, but to some it was a bit daunting. I have a picture of 3 of us women standing in the bathroom stall pointing down to a hole in the floor.. Yes, this was where we were supposed to aim and lets just say it went better for some of us than others! As we made our bathroom stop and extended the time for which we were there due to waiting for the lost jeep, we all continued to get to know each other. This group was fascinating and hilarious. Some were intense and serious, some of us more reserved and taking it all in. The experience just got better and better.

The last jeep finally arrived and we were off again. I don't remember how long the drive to Machame Gate was. I'm thinking about 2 hours and as we got closer to the volcano, what initially was dirt and dust became green and lush. We were never able to get a clear view of Kili driving up because of the clouds, but the beauty of the drive was amazing. As we arrived at Machame Gate, we unloaded our gear, signed in to the park, and received our first pack lunches from the Tanzanian staff. The excitement and nervousness were high. We took photos at the gate, had our debriefing with the American and Tanzanian guides and were off.

I have to admit I thought the first part of the day was easy. It reminded me of hiking the bluffs near La Crosse. Everything was green and lush. Our path was wide and in the initial silence of the climb all one could hear was the consistent sound of step after step of 30 people there on a mission.. To summit Kilimanjaro and achieve a goal that was different for each of us. What I would learn as the trip continued on was my lessons were far greater than I ever could have imagined.

During the hike that day I was with many people. Patti, my climbing partner. Sarah from the East Coast, Steph from the West Coast, Eric our Guide, Jean and April. I remember enjoying talking to everyone so much. All of their stories were interesting and different. For the first time I felt like I could talk about my story, my diagnosis without fear of judgement or pity. I could just be myself and ask so many of the questions I had been longing for answers to. I wanted to know what those with MS were doing for treatment, diet, exercise, etc and I wanted to know from everyone who was my age to the oldest who had MS. This was the group I had been praying for.. A group of active individuals who were living their life but had been through the same struggles I had been through or was going through at the time. Their willingness to share their stories started a shift in me that I still feel to this day.

After about 3 hours into the climb, we came around a corner where tables had been set up by the Tanzanian staff. Around the table were what looked like armed camping chairs, lovely table cloths, pink fake flowers in vases and the best part of all.. Food and drink! We were all in shock. The climb would be difficult, but what a blessing and gift to have this type of pampering on the trip. The food we had was good (mostly homemade by the staff), but with some Nutella and Pringles. I don't usually eat these items at home, but on a mountain in Africa they were definitely tasty!

After lunch we packed up and headed to camp for the night. As we were hiking we would take rest stops for food, water, etc. This day was the most interesting because again, we had to get used to going to the bathroom off the beaten path. We all had to carry a bag with toilet paper, hand sanitizer and an extra bag for the dirty toilet paper. Many try to maintain the beauty of the mountain by not leaving any litter behind. But unfortunately there are those who do not do this and leave toilet paper everywhere. I was glad we were not contributing to so much littering.

Because we had a late start, we climbed for a while in the dark. This was the first time using my headlamp. I was able to watch the sun set between the trees and behind the mountains. It was a beautiful sunset which I am glad I have a picture of. By this point the path had definitely narrowed and become steeper. There were a lot of steps to go up (a rocky path) but everything was still green and lush. By the time I reached camp it was time to change cloths and head to the tent to eat.

Every night when we arrived at camp, our tents would be set up for us (by the Tanzanian staff) and they would bring us a plastic basin filled with warm water. This water we would use to bath in (wash our feet, etc) and to get cleaned up before dinner. There really was not much dust on the hike the first day so it wasn't too bad to clean up. We all had our loungewear/camp clothes to wear so we could get out of the hiking clothes we wore for the day. So after cleaning up we would head to the dining tent where there was clean water for washing our hands and hot water that had been sanitized so we could drink tea or coffee. Once in the tent, the set up was the same as what we had for lunch. I don't remember what we had for dinner that night, but I know it was good. Usually our meals consisted of soup (which was amazing), pasta, and a protein of some sort. Following dinner we would then refill our water bottles for the next day, sanitize them, repack our day packs (which Ben and Eric would tell us what to pack for the following day at dinner that evening), and go to bed.

I remember that first night on the mountain looking up at the stars and knowing that the summit was somewhere to be seen. Since I arrived in camp after dark I was excited for the morning to see it.. "I know it is here and will be an incredible view in the morning" I told someone who agreed. We could not wait to see it at sunrise.

Kilimanjaro, Day 2: July 11, 2011

This morning we had an early wake-up call to head down to breakfast with the team. It was great to be able to sit down and visit with some of my fellow climbers. Everyone was excited and I think a little nervous to be there. For me the trip was continuing to sink in.. I was really here, in Africa, prepping to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. Following breakfast, we all gathered in a meeting room where Ben, Eric, Lori, Monique, and Sierra led a meeting that consisted of logistics for the trip.. What to expect, self care to do on the mountain, what to do should you start to have symptoms of altitude sickness. I could sense the energy of the group rising as we were getting so much information. The meeting lasted quite a while in the morning and many of the group had additional questions. I thought many of the questions were warranted, but a part of me wanted to get going! I wanted to start the climb and see what climbing a mountain was all about!

Following the a.m. meeting, we grabbed some lunch at the hotel and met back that afternoon for what would be several hours of gear check. We had to unpack our boundary bags, lay all of our gear and food out while Eric and Ben went through the gear check list to make sure we each had everything we needed. If we didn't, somehow we were going to get it because once you are on the mountain, there was no getting something you needed there. I remember unpacking my boundary bag.. The 50# bag my friend and I spent an evening packing and unpacking to get everything to fit the night before I left and thinking "I have to pack and unpack this thing everyday, ugh!". I had visions of my laying across the bag to get it flat enough so my friend could latch the sides to close it. I thought "this is going to be an adventure in and of itself!". My climbing partner Patti and I helped each other go through gear as well and the bonding between the group continued late into the afternoon. The gear check was a process that for 30 people took a good portion of the day. I remember going through all of the food I brought (which was a lot since I like to eat) and asking Eric if I needed to bring it all. His response was yes.. The food part comes in to play a little later.

Also during the day we were being individually interviewed by a videographer and interviewer sent by a company named Sanofi. They were a company out of Europe who is focused on changing perceptions of those with neurological diseases. They knew Lori and when notified about the trip, wanted to send Jeff (our professional photographer) and a film crew to document the journey. The interviews were longer than expected and also ran late in to the afternoon. I remember in my interview they kept commenting on my blue eyes, which I thought was kind of them.. I now wonder if my eyes showed the pain and feelings of being ashamed to have the disease in my interview. I remember them asking me a lot of questions about when I was diagnosed, how I felt about it, what this trip meant to me. At one point I had to stop talking because I was so choked up. This was the moment, caught on camera, where I had to actually talk about all of the things that I had wanted to avoid at any cost for so long. Soni, the interviewer, was so kind during the process. She would give me moments to compose myself before continuing on. I don't remember exactly what I said to some of the questions, but I do remember saying that without the diagnosis I would not have the opportunity to climb Kili with this group of amazing people and for that I was grateful. I meant it. I had a whirlwind of emotions going on and little did I know at the time how cathartic this trip would be for me.

After a long afternoon of gear checks and interviews, we left the hotel for dinner as a group. I was exhausted from the long day and wanted to be rested for the next, as the climb was finally going to begin! I enjoyed dinner, sitting by Jeff, Sarah, Patti and Eric, and getting to know each other. The bonding of a group that would become my family continued and I was present in every moment of it. There was a performance that entertained us while we were waiting for our dinner (which took much longer than anticipated).. And during that time, I recorded a message for all of my friends and family at home. Lori and Jeff were having troubles getting the messages to upload with the equipment we had, but it was fun to think that everyone following along at home would hear the message.

Once we arrived back at the hotel, I organized all of my final gear between what and where it all went.. How much food and which clothing layers to pack in my day pack vs. boundary bag and then it was time to head to bed.. The Leap of Faith Kilimanjaro Climb was about to begin..

The Journey Begins.. July 10, 2011

I can't believe it has been 5 weeks since my return from Africa. It seems like so long ago, yet just yesterday when I was there. Since returning a lot has changed and happened. Our Leap of Faith team has decided to write a book telling our stories individually and bringing it all together in a final chapter.. That is the idea for now but I'm sure as the chapters get written and creative juices start flowing some of the design will change. I have started to write my chapter, but find there is actually more to tell than I had thought. Therefore I am working now on condensing it into what people might want to read! It is all a process, but an exciting one!

I have had a lot of people ask about the climb and what it was like since I was unable to blog about it on my trip. I have decided to start blogging the trip, day by day, so those interested can read about the journey.. Lets start with

Day 1: JULY 10, 2011

Today I flew from Minneapolis to Chicago to Amsterdam to Kilimanjaro Airport. My flight from Minneapolis was delayed twice.. Oh how I love flying! I actually do not enjoy it but know that if I want to travel, especially across the ocean, it is the only way to get there! I was able to check my duffel and boundary bags through to Arusha, but had to go back through security once I got to Chicago as my MSP to Chicago flight was an add on at the last minute. I met some of my fellow climbers in Chicago: Lori, Neal, Suz, Gina, Tina, Krisy, Susie, April, Jeanne, and Tina to name a few. I had a brief moment of panic once I arrived in Chicago as other than Suz I had met no one and only verbally spoken to Lori once.. (A couple of days ago as I panicked "Am I trained enough? Am I prepared?" Lori was great to talk to and calmed my nerves almost immediately.) At the airport I recognized Suz and at that moment reality hit me. "This is really going to happen." I thought to myself. As we all sat at the airport getting to know each other I felt very comfortable and the brief feeling of anxiety had already left me.

Our flight from Chicago to Amsterdam was uneventful. I was able to watch a few movies and talk more with Lori and Jeanne on the flight. I cherish the conversations I had with everyone on the trip for different reasons and this conversation was no exception.

We arrived in Amsterdam to meet up with Jeff, our photographer and Patty, my climbing companion whom I had met before as well as others going on the climb. Jeff and I bonded almost immediately as he had technology gadgets so we sat and chatted about them as we tried to figure out how some of them worked. Jeff was going to be responsible for uploading daily footage from the climb to Sanofi, the company out of Europe that sponsored him to go on our trip. He had a lot of expectations to fulfill, and looking back I think he did an amazing job. It was also good to see Patty again. She has an adventurous spirit and I thought we were well matched as climbing partners.

On the flight from Amsterdam to Kilimanjaro Airport many of us slept, despite trying to stay awake to adjust to the time difference of 8 hours. Once we arrived in Arusha, we were picked up by Bushbuck Safaris. All of our gear was loaded into the large jeeps (everyone's bags made it!) and we were off for what felt like a 2 hour drive to the New Arusha Hotel in Arusha. It was night in Africa and we could see the outline of mountains as we drove, but none of us knew exactly what we were looking at. We were left to guess.. Is that Kili?

Upon arrival at the hotel, we were greeted by our guides Eric and Ben. Eric had been a guide for several years and would be our lead guide. Ben just returned from leading a team and summiting Everest and would be the second guide on this adventure. We were each checked in, given room keys, had a brief welcome session and sent upstairs to get some sleep as the next day would be a long one of gear checks, orientation, and interviews...

Thanks to a great place to work, my trip was able to be extended so I could go to Zanzibar for a few days with 2 of the other climbers. The beaches of Zanzibar were amazing! In the last 2 1/2 weeks I have had more experiences than I have had in the last 3 years! I am still in disbelief at how much has happened! Already the pictures have started to be posted and emails sent among new friends and family. Our team bonded in a way that most do not get get to experience. We became a family who watched out for each other, encouraged each other, educated each other and inspired each other. People ask if I am mad that I was unable to reach the summit.. Initially yes, but the experience has been so great that summiting was only a part of it. My MS didn't prevent me from summiting Kilimanjaro and that is what I was testing.. What this means is that I will come back to Africa to once again climb and summit Kili, and to also experience more of the culture and the people. Africa is an amazing place that can change your life if you are open to it. It can't really be explained. There is something about the spirit here that lifts you up and makes you believe anything is possible.. I wonder what my next adventure will be.. ;)

Hello from Arusha! We have just returned from the mountain and what an incredible experience it was. I reached a personal summit of 16,000ft before my body would take me no further. Physically I had trained enough, but I suffered from Acute Mountain Sickness from Day 2 on.. I could keep no food or liquids down and when you are supposed to be eating 4000 calories a day and drinking 4 liters of water a day, your body eventually says no more. I started the summit, but was escorted down to high camp. I was initially very mad, but realize that for how sick I was, I still did as well as many. This climb was more than about summiting Kili, I came, I climbed, I learned, and I've grown.

The bags are mostly packed and set by the door to be picked up and carried out at 7:30 am sharp tomorrow morning. The only thing that remains are the last minute items that need to be tossed in as I walk out the door. My kindle has been loaded with pdf documents and books for the journey, taking care of the need for paper documents everywhere (thank you Greg ;) ). Passport, check; visa pictures, check; gloves, check; protein mix.. No check as I seem to have missed that on one of the several lists I had made... Maybe the bag of snickers and reeses I packed will be sufficient.. At this point I must accept that what I have will be just right to get me through the climb.

After helping at the Lifetime Triathlon today, the timing team sat down for a much needed lunch (start time this morning was 3:00 am!) and one of the gentlemen was quizzing me.. Much like above. "Do you have a scarf?" "yes" I responded, "How about your hat and gloves?" "Yes, but I'm not sure which bag they are in!". I took comfort in knowing that everything he listed off I have packed.. somewhere in the seas that are my boundary and duffel bag and pack.

We will begin the climb on Wednesday, July 13th, with summit day planned for Monday, July 18th. What a great way to start the week!

Thank you to everyone who has sent me messages wishing me a safe journey in Africa. I am sorry I have not had time to respond to each of you individually, but know that your messages are read and appreciated :) I look forward to seeing you all upon my return!